Seven years ago today I woke up and found a lump in my right breast. I wrote the following yesterday however after having had a fun filled evening and seeing everyone’s positive posts this morning welcoming 2019 in I nearly deleted it. Then I realised I was doing what I do best and that is shoving things away as not being good enough or being too negative. However the reality is : Always looking over my shoulder Cancer is indiscriminate and insidious. It develops slowly and silently. It shows no signs of a beginning or end. It causes anxiety, fear and rage; and yet can be the making or breaking of a person. It brings families together or tears them apart. It highlights the real friends and false friends and is a platform for making for making new and very special friends. Cancer makes one vulnerable and yet strong. It can make you cry and laugh quite often at the same time. A morbid sense of humor develops which only your fellow cancer sufferer will understand. An appreciation for life becomes a necessary adjunct as does accepting the need to look over your shoulder just in case that indiscriminate insidious tumor that eventually made itself known before has yet again chosen youn

To tell or not to tell

During one of my checkups post my diagnosis for breast cancer, I asked to be tested for the brca gene. The houseman laughed and said, "by all means fill in the application, but you will get nowhere." There was no family history of breast cancer; consequently, he did not believe I would qualify. I, however, had a gut instinct … Continue reading To tell or not to tell →

Learning not to feel guilty

When I finished my treatment for Breast Cancer, I was determined to do something with my life. I felt obliged to LIVE LIFE to the full. To find the job that ticked all the boxes for me and gave me satisfaction. Six years ago this month I went back to a job I did not … Continue reading Learning not to feel guilty →

My day as a Model

It will be fun and exciting is what I thought a day of modelling would be. I was wrong as it was so much more than fun and exciting. It was every positive adjective I can think of. At the beginning of the year, I got a call from Breast Cancer Care telling me … Continue reading My day as a Model →

Check your boobs and GO with your gut.

Today is the beginning of Breast Cancer Awareness month. I personally find it a hard month to get through as it reminds me of my own journey. HOWEVER my feelings aside I believe it is so important and necessary to bring awareness of breast cancer to the public. Perhaps if I had been more aware … Continue reading Check your boobs and GO with your gut. →

A new me

There is nothing like the possibility of death to wake us up to the beauty of life. Well, that is what you’d think and what everyone thought and what I was also determined to believe. I had survived a not so good diagnosis so I tried to grab. Grab something because I needed to prove … Continue reading A new me →

A Lonely Journey

I woke up on January the 1st 2012 and decided this was going to be my year. I thought about the resolutions I had made and was determined, as I am sure everyone is, to keep them. Then, I remembered in my fairly inebriated state the night before I had had a shower and discovered … Continue reading A Lonely Journey →